conkers

For a person such as myself, who still feels a small rush of excitement at seeing the first conkers of autumn, shiny skinned, rich brown little nuggets lying beneath yellow-green leaves, fresh split from their almost military looking shells covered in new-born bloom, this season provides much time for pondering. I have to confess to a nostagic moment as I wrangled with myself whether or not to quickly stoop as i was exiting the alley way and pocket myself a shiny conker, turning it in my hand in the warmth of my pocket as I strode towards work...secretly there was a wanton desire to challenge some freckle faced, buck-toothed child to a conker death match (naturally after, baking, injecting with concrete, coating in varnish etc etc to up the ante!) and whoop gratuitously when I won, perhaps allow myself a little dance ('running man' or 'stirring the pot' preferably)...a chant for good measure and all the other little showboating, bad grace actions of a grown woman-child making a little boy's lip quiver after smashing his conker into oblivion after a few dirty knuckle shots and a steel-eyed stare.
Sadly i had to go to work instead although the 3 supreme conkers i had gathered sat defiantly in my bag!